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[edit] GA on hold
I'm putting this on hold, I'll leave detailed comments later but the lead needs expoansion see WP:LEAD try to get two full paragraphs, expand his playing career, and there needs to be some info about his personal life. He is a person after all not just an athlete. Trevor GH5 20:34, 7 June 2007 (UTC)
- Here's some more things that need to be fixed.
"Spells" is pretty informal.Merge some of the one sentence paragraphs to improve the flow of the article.Avoid proseline. Trevor GH5 21:39, 7 June 2007 (UTC)
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- I'd definitely echo the comment about his playing career. Oldelpaso 18:43, 8 June 2007 (UTC)
- I don't belive that personal life is that important because other GA's like Clayton Donaldson and Marc Pugh do not have pesonal life paragraphs and I done see why this one needs to have one. Also, he is more notable as a manager for Boston United and this I think I have expaned the playing career as much is a can possibly do so. Kingjamie 10:00, 10 June 2007 (UTC)
- It is. See sport bio FAs Jim Thorpe, Gilberto Silva, Harbhajan Singh, Bill Russell, Michael Jordan, and GAs Lawrence Taylor, Sugar Ray Robinson, Hakeem Olajuwon Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Tim Duncan, Thierry Henry Dwyane Wade, Oscar Robertson, Mark Bavaro, Chris Bosh, Leonard Marshall, the list goes on (at least 70–80% have them). It should have information about both his early life and personal life. This is a biography not a trading card—it's not comprehensive if it doesn't mention anything off the field. If you disagree after I fail it you can put it up for review. Trevor GH5 18:01, 10 June 2007 (UTC)
- I have added about growing up in Glasgow in early life. Also, I added about wife, childrent and nearly getting sent to prison in personal life Kingjamie 20:38, 10 June 2007 (UTC)
[edit] GA passing
Okay, a little more info about his early life would be good if it's available. Like what his parents did for a living, if he had any brothers or sisters, and anything else that stands out like if one of his parents or siblings died, if he ran away, if he was unusually poor or wealthy, if he was an exceptional student or if he was held back a grade, etc. To be clear, I agree the overwhelming focus of the article should be on his sports career but those other things give people a clue what kind of person he is and what his life was like. It also makes the article more interesting to a person who isn't a sports fan. For instance, Jim Thorpe had a very rough childhood from the looks of it, and led a pretty tragic, but fascinating life. I think even a non sports-fan would find the article an interesting read (even if the writing could use a little work grammar and prose wise). Trevor GH5 02:18, 11 June 2007 (UTC)
