Talk:Qu'Appelle, Saskatchewan
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[edit] Written like an essay
This article sounds more like an essay than it does an encyclopaedia artcile. It's full of subjective terms and what appears to be uncited original research. Take the lead section for example.
Qu'Appelle, Saskatchewan, is a small locality located on Trans-Canada Highway 1 and the Canadian Pacific Railway mainline, some thirty miles east of Regina, Saskatchewan. With
Qu'Appelle had at one stage been credibly anticipated to be a major metropole by both
- its for a time seemingly long-term terminus status for the Canadian Pacific Railway;
- its lush rolling parkland setting, intermittent "coulees" (gentle valleys with steady-flowing creeks) and "bluffs" (the local term for aspen groves) and generally picturesque locale both in summer and winter and
- its ready access to ample water
Political events, however, passed Qu'Appelle entirely by and when Lieutenant-Governor Edgar Dewdney elected the locale of his own landholdings some 30 miles to the east of Qu'Appelle as his Territorial capital, Qu'Appelle's significance other than in historical terms largely lapsed.
- the federal government of Canada — it was under serious consideration by the federal government for district headquarters of the District of Assiniboia and territorial headquarters of the North-West Territories — and
- the Church of England (now the Anglican Church of Canada), which for a time designated Qu'Appelle the cathedral city for the Diocese of Qu'Appelle, geographically corresponding precisely to the District of Assiniboia in the North-West Territories.
It could be rewritten to something like this:
Qu'Appelle, Saskatchewan, is a town located on Trans-Canada Highway and the Canadian Pacific Railway mainline, 55 km (34 mi) east of Regina, Saskatchewan. The Government of Canada and the Church of England at one time anticipated Qu'Appelle to be a major metropole because of its terminus status for the Canadian Pacific Railway, its "coulees" and aspen groves, and its ready access to ample water.
Several of the changes made include:
- the bulk of the historical content moved to the history section and a simple summary left in the lead
- subjective, uncited terms such as "lush", "picturesque", and "credibly" removed
- verbosity (such as "a small locality") rewritten ("a town")
- unfamiliar words linked and their definitions removed
- guess at distance replaced with actual distance in both metric and imperial
The entire article needs to receive a similar overhaul. And there needs to be more references considering the number of bold statements being made. --Kmsiever (talk) 02:39, 6 December 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Note 1
Note: (a) the extraordinarily wide main street, in contemplation of the town's anticipated metropolitan importance; (b) the grain elevator (one of several) adjacent to the CPR tracks at the south end of Main Street; (c) the substantially brick rather than timber buildings, anticipating permanent importance for the town; (d) the signs and canvass awnings of the commercial establishments, indicating the considerable vitality of trade and commerce in turn-of-the-twentieth-century Qu'Appelle; (d) the fully occupied commercial lots along the street, since the 1950s incrementally vacated; (e) the horse-drawn vehicles drawn up along the street at the time of an obviously early-morning photo-shoot.
- There are two (d)s. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be that way or not. But I noticed it when reverting the bad change to the section title and thought I'd mention it. Lara❤Love 14:39, 13 February 2008 (UTC)