User talk:Princess Venetia di Cannoli

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Contents 1 Newton Surmaville 2 Mold cape 3 DYK 4 Amusing edit summaries 5 Mr Carter's offering 6 Stonehenge 7 Apologies 8 Stretton water mill

[edit] Newton Surmaville

Princess, thank you for your largesse in correcting this humble servants previous edits to the article on Newton Surmaville. Humble apologies for my over reliance on the works of Mr Pevsner, and thank you for magnanimously correcting my work. If you could enlighten me further on the article that would lighten my life. Your humble & obedient servant — Rod ^talk 14:53, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

Thank you for your message. I have a copy of Mr Pevsner's volumne for North Somerset & Bristol sitting by my elbow as I write.Perhaps you would like to join few of us for a virtual soiree at Wikipedia:WikiProject Somerset?— Rod ^talk 16:37, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

Perhaps I intrude on certain circles... but I could certainly offer services as long as its not another case of Nempnett Thrubwell.— Rod ^talk 18:02, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Mold cape

Your highness. I should like to thank you for your recent actions in arranging to have information on the afore-mentioned cape added to this repository of information. I always considered it a glaring and shameful omission, but could find only little information. There is, in my humblest opinion, still much room for expansion as regards bronze age goldwork, from Irish lunulae or the Broighter Boat to continental hoards. Maybe your man or men (forgive my ignorance and please do not mistake the meaning of that phrasing) could be encouraged in such a direction? Your humble servant, athinaios (talk) 09:57, 8 December 2007 (UTC).

Dear Mr Athinaios (or perhaps one should say "Yassou" as I see you are in the land of overly-thick yoghurt, atonal plucking, scraping and caterwauling, and man-boy love). Back from church and now to attend to my correspondence. I am sure the parson thought he was seeing to my spiritual wellbeing, but I also took the precaution of attending to the physical, in the form of a plump cushion, my trusty hipflask (given to me by Eddie, don’t you know, before that awful Simpson woman came along and quite ruined all my plans) and the latest penny dreadful by that woman who could do with a visit to the hairdressing salon. I must recommend Geraldo to her next time I see her at Cowdray.

I had a job stopping dear Catherine's dreadful grandson from carving his initials into the Georgian family box pew. A dreadfully willful child, but nothing that a few smart thwacks with the hymn book couldn't sort out. Quite how any live offspring managed to issue from Catherine's Sahara of a womb is beyond me, but she was clearly intent on continuing her line, to the detriment of the general gene pool. God help us all.

Now, to matters in hand. You refer to my man or men. Would that I had more than one (wistfully remembers back to her heydey....) That Clara Bow rumour was based on me, you know. Of course, it was nothing as vulgar as a team of American football players. Dear me, no. Naturally, it was the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race crews that I entertained, plus Isis and Goldie and various coaches. Oh, and the man who greased the runners was in there too somewhere, I seem to recall. Ah, what a time we had. Such high-jinks.

I really have no general interest in Bronze Age golden trinkets, Mr Athinaios. I merely created the article on the Mold cape as I am in possession of the original, which was given to me by Mr Balenciaga and on which he based my coming-out ball stole. Those so-called experts at the British Museum have yet to realise that their version has been made out of chocolate coin wrappers and a few of those golden yellow confectionaries that one finds in the Quality Street tins that the lower orders have knocking around in the kitchens at the festive season. If you would like to come and visit the cape, I am sure you will find me most accommodating. Are you young and good-looking? It always helps.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 09:21, 9 December 2007 (UTC)

Your highness. I am flattered to receive such a long missive from your very hand, which is undoubtedly busy with all too many other things. It is most humbling and impressive to hear that such a lady as yourself, in spite of so many obligations, still dutifully attends the morning service, and even takes time to see to the education of young minds such as Lady Catherine's grandson. You must be an example to the whole parish, and to all of your class (alas, so few deserve that apellation today). I would dearly like, whenever I leave Grecian shores next, to cast an eye on that cape of yours, most intriguing object that it is. I am still relatively young, and relatively good-looking (I hope), so some accommodation may be found to make such a visit mutually pleasurable. As you profess a dislike for bronze age gold, I would like to present you with this virtual iron age torc, an object which, I am sure, suits your complexion, especially if worn as the sole item of attire. Your humble servant, athinaios (talk) 09:54, 9 December 2007 (UTC).

Mr Athinaios! The impertinence! You quite overstep the mark. A lady is never dressed without her Manolos.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 11:13, 9 December 2007 (UTC)

My sincerest apologies, your ladyship. I phrased my suggestion unfortunately vaguely. Of course,a true lady cannot ever be seen without such lovely and essential things, so unflatteringly described as footwear. Indeed, they are so much a part of her that I failed to think of them as an "item of attire". Please forgive me and blame it on the detrimental influences of my mixed upbringing and too numerous foreign stints. I will do my utmost to repair any injury I may have unwittingly caused. Your regretful and unworthy servant, athinaios (talk) 11:36, 9 December 2007 (UTC)-

[edit] DYK

On 11 December 2007, Did you know? was updated with a fact from the article Mold cape, which you created or substantially expanded. If you know of another interesting fact from a recently created article, then please suggest it on the Did you know? talk page.

--EncycloPetey (talk) 23:33, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

One is honoured to be the first to congratulate her ladyship. athinaios (talk) 00:25, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Ah, Mr Athinaios, good morning. I am most distressed to find that my work has been "tagged", like some common criminal. I am presently on a small excursion away from my palazzo and its not inconsiderable library, and so am unable to provide the references which are demanded. Never mind. They will follow in due time. May I thank you for your congratulations, but I must inform you that protocol demands you address me as 'Your highness'. A princess quite trumps a lady in the Top Trumps of the nobility. But I would not expect one of your rank to understand such matters.

By the way, you appear to have some souvlaki grease on your chin.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 10:12, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Your highness, I understand your distress about the tagging. But souvlaki grease? What a dreadful thought. It is not even gyros fat. May I recommend an optician? As Wellington said, living in a stable does not make you a horse (or something on those lines). What you spotted is a residue of Dom Pérignon. athinaios (talk) 15:48, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Strange you should mention that, Mr Athinaios, but I had been considering visiting my Harley Street optometrist as my pince-nez have been giving me some bother. Why, only the other day I popped into my mouth what had appeared to be one of the toothsome little confections of which I am particularly fond, only to find them on tasting and then on closer inspection to be young Horace's collection of deer doings that he had amassed for his science project, and placed on my Limoges sweetmeats platter for safekeeping. Or so he told me, though the smirk on his face suggested otherwise. I fear he is exacting retribution for my attempts at disciplining him in church the other day.

Better to have Dom Pérignon's residue on your chin than the Blue Nun's, I feel.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 16:16, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

One has not heard from your highness in some time. I trust she is well? The sun is shining on Athens (so vulgar, I much prefer calling her Athenae) these days, making the Olympieion look much like a wicket, or a croquet hoop. Delightful. Especially while sipping Cointreau. athinaios (talk) 23:41, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Incidentally, I believe I once met that Blue Nun her highness referred to, on a hunting trip in the Black Forest. A thoroughly pious and most virtuous person, I am sure, but so unaccomplished. Very sweet, but so uninteresting. Her residue should be most undesirable. In fact, I believe a point has been made of producing it exclusively for export. Perfidious. athinaios (talk) 23:47, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Ah, good day to you, Mr Athinaios. I have been absent these last months on my travels, but finally have returned. I met a charming young sheikh in Knightsbridge (so handsome, so lean), and he invited me to join him (for a small payment to cover his expenses) in his beit-as-shar in the desert. Ever the romantic, and mindful of the adventures of my ancestor, I travelled to the shores of Araby looking for love, but instead found I had been duped! My dreams of reposing in a silk-lined boudoir illuminated by flickering candles while the hamseen winds playfully tousled my auburn tresses were shattered. The beit-as-shar was a perfectly beastly construction which smelt of goats and which it was proposed I was to share with Saleh’s crone of a mother, three sisters and two hunting dogs. The only desert wind came from the direction of the camels. I took my leave of Saleh. My travels homewards were not straightforward, but that must wait for another time.

I trust you enjoy the Greek spring. Tell me, do those funny little men with the skirts still stand guard in Syntagma Square? One of them took umbrage when, many years ago, I attempted to establish if he was attired in the Scottish manner. Luckily I had been a whizz at the 100 yard dash at Cheltenham Ladies College and so easily outran him as he struggled in his pom-pommed slippers.

There was some other awful business in Athens - a misunderstanding - I was kneeling to help the gentleman tie his shoes in that dark alley. Luckily Papa was able to pull some strings with his old school chum Archie the ambassador there and the deportation charges were dropped, but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 16:43, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Amusing edit summaries

Your edit summaries are amusing and funny, lol, had to say. --Matt57 ^{(talk•contribs)} 02:50, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

One fails to find any humour in the matter, Mr Matt. By the way, I do not believe we have been introduced. Did you leave your calling card with my man?

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 08:50, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

After some investigation I was unable to find who the man is? --Matt57 ^{(talk•contribs)} 01:03, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

That is because he is on his way to the dole office, no doubt with my family silver spoons jangling in his pocket, the wretched man. I am well rid of him, although he did have his uses. How tiresome for me to have to find a new manservant. I shall choose someone younger this time, someone malleable whom I can train to cater to my special and very particular needs. Are you in gainful employment at the moment, Mr Matt?

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 09:31, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh, sorry to hear that. Yes I am. I would say more but m, your email is disabled. They dont like us just talking on this site, but anyway thats alright, if you have your email enabled, let me know and we can chat a bit more on email? If not thats ok, I would have to stop before being spanked by an admin. --Matt57 ^{(talk•contribs)} 12:22, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

I could no more "chat" on email, whatever that is, than fry an egg or give up my suite at Claridge's.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 14:02, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

lol ok then, thats a nice building. Take care then. egg frying is not that hard. I figured it out when I had to do it. Just be gentle while breaking the egg into the frying pan and squirt hot oil over the yolk and make sure it doesnt stay too long on the pan or the yolk will harder. I want fried eggs now, thats it, you reminded me. Thanks and it was nice talking to you.--Matt57 ^{(talk•contribs)} 01:20, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Poor Mr Matt, he does seems to spend a lot of time lolling about. Nothing a good constricting garment wouldn't sort out. Sadly, bad pasture is all-too prevalent in today's youth.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 16:54, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Mr Carter's offering

Dear lady, I would hate to offend you with my own, dare I say, occasionally plebian sensibilities, and I do have a horrible feeling that it won't match your decor, but I would like to have receive a form of recognition for your so polite contributions.

		The Barnstar of Good Humor
		For your efforts in improving the culture and manners of wikipedia, I believe you have more than earned this small token of appreciation. John Carter (talk) 21:09, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

One is most pleased, my dear Mr Carter, to receive this award. I accept it on behalf of all of us who struggle, daily, against the clamouring, unwashed masses for whom Mrs Pilkington's Book of Correct Etiquette is an unknown. And you are quite right, it most certainly does not match my decor, so I am sure that you will understand that I will not be propping it up against one of the frescoes by Giotto in my villa. I thank you for your kind thoughts, nonetheless. Are you related to dear Howard, by the way? The silly man was quite foolishly, ridiculously in love with me, and gave me a few small trinkets which rightly should have gone to Lord Carnarvon. Not that I am in a hurry to return them....

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 16:54, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

You don't like follically challenged men? I lost my nice message to John due to an edit conflict with you. ♦Blofeld of SPECTRE♦ ^$1,000,000? 19:28, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

What, pray tell, is an 'edit conflict'? There was no conflict, you merely and naturally deferred to me, as was right and proper. And whoever said I did not care for the less-hirsute gentleman? Benito was one of my closest friends until that unfortunate war business spoiled all our fun.

And Mr Blofeld, I must tell you most sternly that I do not care for intruders in my vestibule. Entry is by select invitation only. One wonders how you managed to sneak in past my man? Are you some sort of common criminal?

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 19:34, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

That I am your Highness. Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the baldest baddest criminal the world has ever seen (except perhaps Phil Mitchell from Eastenders ♦Blofeld of SPECTRE♦ ^$1,000,000? 19:47, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Ah, I see. Having seen the photograph on your 'user page' (terrible layout, by the way), I had assumed you were that dreadful Cockney greengrocer from the television (not that I watch it; my understairs staff tediously choose to keep me informed of such matters).

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 14:50, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Stonehenge

On 18 March 2008, Did you know? was updated with a fact from the article Stonehenge in its landscape, which you created or substantially expanded. If you know of another interesting fact from a recently created article, then please suggest it on the Did you know? talk page.

Gimmetrow 04:11, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Apologies

Something fashionably rustic perchance for your vestibule by way of apology?--Joopercoopers (talk) 00:48, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

One is pleased to see that you are suitably contrite, Mr Joopercoopers. I accept your offering, though I note it is a photographic reproduction, not an oil. Still, one would hardly expect the latter from such as you. I have something similar hanging in my vestibule, a charming depiction of a similarly rustic scene, though really quite why anyone would bother to paint these hovels when they could paint my palazzo or such like is beyond me.

I am pleased to see that you are a landowner, like myself. We must stick together, especially in these times of the so-called "right to roam". Pshaw, never heard of anything so ridiculous in all my life. I get Higgins to chase the bobble-hatted, map-waving, fol-de-rolling tramps off with a shotgun. It most certainly does the trick. And I do hope that you charge the bumpkins who grind their corn or oats or whatever it is in your mill a good stout fee. I expect they will whinge, as the lower orders are wont to do at every opportunity, but it really all is for their own good. I paid special attention to Mr Peter Rachman's business practices and find that they are most satisfactory.

Incidentally, I think you need to get your water bailiff to see to the sides of your leat. An overgrown and untidy channel is most unsightly. Higgins keeps mine neatly clipped.

Princess Venetia di Cannoli (talk) 08:59, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Stretton water mill

Have nominated this image at Wikipedia:Featured picture candidates - Wikipedia:Featured picture candidates/Stretton water mill per request on FP talkpage. Drop by if you want to take a look or vote on it. Good luck. --jjron (talk) 14:15, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

• BTW, in future, if you want to nominate for FPC you can drop an image onto the Wikipedia:Picture peer review page (it's an easier process than FPC), or drop me a message on my talkpage if you'd prefer. You're not really meant to put them on the talkpages, and the FP talkpage is pretty low traffic. --jjron (talk) 14:50, 15 April 2008 (UTC)