Jesus Saves (Song)

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Jesus Saves, also known by the titles "Jesus Can't Play Rugby" or "Jesus Can't Go Hashing" is a popular drinking song common among Hash House Harriers and rugby union players. As with any rugby song, it is tongue-in-cheek and is consciously offensive. It is sung at socials among teams of many nations at nearly every level of competition. ^{[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]}

Sung to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic (aka "John Brown's Body").

[edit] Traditional Lyrics

Chorus:

(Often sung while the participants dip their fingers in beer and flick it onto each other, a la the Catholic practice of Asperges.)

Free beer for all the ruggers (or hashers)!

Free beer for all the ruggers!

Free beer for all the ruggers!

Jesus saves! Jesus saves! Jesus saves!

Verses:

Jesus can't play rugby 'cause:

• the ball goes through his hands (x3)
• his dad will fix the game (x3)
• the Jew won't pay his dues (x3)
• he wears illegal headgear (x3)
• he wears illegal spikes (x3)
• he's only got 12 men (x3)
• the uprights give him flashbacks (x3)
• he can't support a hooker (x3)
• his feet are nailed together (x3)
• he has open wounds (x3)
• he is fucking dead (x3) (can also be sung as "the motherfucker's dead")
• his mother won't put out (x3)
• he has never gotten laid (x3)
• you can't bind on his robe (x3)
• shepherds are illegal (x3)
• he's hung up on the cross (x3)
• he's hung like this (spread arms wide) (x3)
• he is stuck behind a rock (x3)
• he is bleeding on the field (x3)
• the nails will pop the ball (x3)

Variations:

Judas can't play rugby 'cause:

• he'll cheat for the other side (x3)

Mary can't play rugby 'cause:

• she's never touched a ball (x3)

Moses can't play rugby 'cause:

• he's got a burning bush (x3)
• he's only got 10 rules (x3)

Noah can't play rugby 'cause:

• his pitch is always flooded (x3)

Jesus bring the party 'cause:

• he turns water into wine (x3)

Jesus can't play touch judge 'cause

• his arms point both ways (x3)

Final Chorus:

(everyone should kneel down and do the Sign of the Cross)

Jesus, we're only kidding!

Jesus, we're only kidding!

Jesus, we're only kidding!

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

[edit] References