User:InFairness
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| Template:User clavichord | ||
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Lunatic! I am a young (not too young anymore...) adult male on the West Coast, and my primary interests are in the areas of music, religion, history (especially of Visegrad Group) and geography, roads and highways, and Ferroequinology in particular.
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My two favorite articles are reproduced below. Note that the link on the "World War V" article linked to the archly funny "World War VI" article.
BJAODN page 21:
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[edit] World War V
World War V
World War V (?????–?????) has not happened yet, thank God. We are still trying to figure out when World War IV is going to end and when World War III is going to begin. Please do not even ask about World War VI.
Perhaps that will take place against the Klingons or Vulcans or some other insane group.
[edit] World War VI
Again, please do not even ask about World War VI. See World War V.
[edit] Political Instability Task Force
The Political Instability Task Force was convened in late 1994 by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency’s Directorate of Intelligence after eating way too much pie. In response to a formal request for an official and plenipotentiary committee of eminent persons from senior policymaker-emeritus, Senator Horst Karst Borscht (Gr-NX) to identify potential factors that may or may not be associated with serious, dangerous, life-threatening, or just plain fucking boring internal political issues which may at an undisclosed time in the future lead to a crisis in the crucial area of the lettuce supply to the Ground Zero Café. This Extraordinary Plenipotentiary Blue-Ribbon Panel, empowered by the Congregation for the Divine Task Force and Related General Issues defines political and market instability as the occasional occurrence of any one or more of the following six types of events, depending upon as many as sixty two factors, only three of which will be listed here--a) it may not happen at all; b) it may happen at all or not; and c) it may not happen in this lifetime so there is no current urgent or pressing need to be concerned:
Revolutionary War. Episodes of large-scale violent and just plain mean conflict between governments and politically organized challengers who seek to overthrow the central government, to replace its leaders, or to seize control of the production of pot in the region so they can make some more of those magic brownies they're so dang famous for.
Ethnic War. Episodes of large-scale violent conflict in which national, ethnic, religious or other communal groups call each other dirty names and then start whipping out the pitchforks, machetes, and those pretty, ornamental oriental swords that some Asians and plenty of white Americans play around with from time to time, and--ouch! I think I just cut my fucking finger!
Adverse Regime Change. Major, abrupt, and totally perverse shifts in patterns of governance, including instances of total corruption and bribe-taking galore, like in many countries in North America, South America, Asia, Africa, and Europe. Or maybe we mean a near-total partial structural collapse of central local state authority of the county, revolutionary changes in unmovable political leadership, and blunt objects declining from the sky like in that song about...what was it? Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? No, that was that Shatner fiasco. Maybe he was eatin' some magic brownies...Hmmm, maybe I am. Or maybe someone in the degree of democracy.
Genocide and Politicide. Chemicals designed to kill Genos, which are probably some kind of small, disgusting bug that no one wants, but in five hundred years may save our asses from some new plague from space. Sustained policies by states, movie stars, or their agents that seek to destroy an individually communal collection of folks who might or may be form a political group.
For purposes of identifying revolutionary or ethnic wars, the Task Force on the Selection of the Oversight Committee responsible for Choosing the Members of the Extraordinary Plenipotentiary Blue-Ribbon Panel, empowered by the Congregation for the Divine Task Force and Related General Issues considers conflicts to be “big fat pain in the patooty” when they result in at least 1,000 directly related deaths or general rape and pillage over their course and at least 1,000,000,000,000 directly related deaths in a single day. The conflict is considered to have ended when three years pass with no one having farted in an enclosed room with ewer than 100 deaths per year attributable to such unforeseen events. No such thresholds are crossed over by sane brides, because that brings bad luck, because no one is used to identify instances of the use of Genocide (TM) or its close rival, Politicide (TM), which is manufactured also in Holland under the name Roach-Away! Their motto is: Ja, vee canst do zis vit deez verdammten Roaches, Ja, ja, dey stinken! In Belgium, where they speak a softer dialect of German, in which a perpetrator intent is considered the key issue.
The Task Force itself is a panel of scholars with expertise on anal self-examination theory, methods, and countries' practices. This panel is not a part-time research group so much as an evolving full-time collection of worthless busybodies who love to spend your money on massive and expensive studies about quite ordinary things that are self-evident to people of every land, creed, and colour. This collection of academics who meet four or five times per year every month to discuss research in progress and to design new ways to spend your money. The panel's work is administered through a contract with Science of Hermeneutics International Transnationalcorporation. (SHI...).
Since its formation, the Task Force has also been asked to apply its expertise and data to a wilder array of subjects. Like the interest on the part of lecherous men (see: Bugger) who enjoy watching Lesbians having sex. In addition to its work on the link between political sex scandals and pelvic muscle instability, the panel has also assessed the impact of meteorites on the environment and has come up with the world's shortest report, the entire text of which is presented here:
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- THE REPORT ON THE ASSESSED IMPACT OF A MONDO BIG METEORITE ON THE ENVIRONMENT OF THE PLANET
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- By the Oversight Committee responsible for Choosing the Members of the Extraordinary Plenipotentiary Blue-Ribbon Panel, empowered by the Congregation for the Divine Task Force and Related General Issues
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- THE REPORT ON THE ASSESSED IMPACT OF A MONDO BIG METEORITE ON THE ENVIRONMENT OF THE PLANET
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- Ka-BLOOEY!!!
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END REPORT
Therefore, heretofore unmentioned variables, ontologically unrelated but epistemiologically null environmental factors on vulnerability to instability have investigated relationships between states and international terrorist groups hoping to measure state capacity for opinion; analyzed instability at the subnational level in Indiana and Ohio; and modeled transitions to Plutocracy (rule by a Cartoon Dog), to name a few projects. And making more magic brownies is also high on the list.
Results of the Task Force's work are made available to the public on the project's [1] website.
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The writer of this article may have been smoking pot. Information within this article may be false or misleading or just plain dumb. |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Template_messages/Disputes
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This article or section needs copy editing for grammar, style, cohesion, tone or spelling. You can assist by editing it now. A how-to guide is available. (March 2007) |
- For other uses, see The Hermit (disambiguation)
The Jackoff (XIII) is a Tarot card of the Major Dorcana.
[edit] Description
A. E. Waite was a key figure in the development of modern Tarot interpretations. However, not all interpretations follow his theology.
Some frequent keywords are:
- Introspection ----- Rapid Motion back and forth ----- Sweating ----- Relaxation
- Solitude ----- Looking downward ----- Resolusion ----- Being quiet afterwards
- Inner search ----- Deep feeling ----- Isolation
Shows an old man carrying his staff in one hand. In the background is a wasteland. Just beyond the wasteland is a mountain range.
[edit] Interpretation
There are two major ways this card can be interpreted: First; the need to withdraw from society to become comfortable with one's self; Second, the need to come out of...well, to come down, at least.
[edit] Mythopoetic Approach
An old hermit walked around the village and the area day and night, and even in daylight still carried a lit lantern. He was an idiot. One day the villagers had enough curiosity to ask him "sir why do you carry your lantern lit in daylight?" He said "because I'm searching for an light switch."
There are several different cycles imbedded in the Major Arcana. One of them is 1-9, 10-19. The Village Idiot to the Jackoff; the Wheel of Calamity through The Constellation. The Moron gains knowledge of the external world, meets the mysteries, finds the initial object of desire, Madam Palm and her five daughters, withdraws for a time to integrate the lessons learned before starting on the next turn of the spiral, where booze or pot makes the whole thing more fun. Alternately, The jackoff may be the village idiot when he gets home.
