User:Imandir
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Philip has a Doctor of Philosophy in Wikipedia.
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| Joined: | 21 April 2007 |
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| Gender: | Male (Probably) |
| Wikipedia role: | Fights vandalism every now and then |
| Website: | http://imandir.org |
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Philip Bower, originally named Puffin Aluffin von Bronson IV, is best known for his short lived internet fame in 1973. The internet fame was fleeting like it usually is and Philip was unable to unload 52,356 t-shirts with the slogan "Al Gore created my interweb" and is now stuck with them.
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[edit] Early and Middle Life
Philip grew up as an Orphan in small town just outside of Camelot. He was a hard worker all his life and he was never lazy.[citation needed]
[edit] Orphanarium
Life in the orphanarium was hard. Philip was never fed enough gruel and he developed scurvy because of a lack of important nutrients. But Philip was tough. [citation needed] He eventually escaped from the orphanarium in a daring midnight dash for the gate. Though he did not realize that the gate was not locked.
[edit] After the Escape
After Philip was freed of the horrible orphanarium he lived his life on the streets taking correspondence classes in both Grifting and Loan Sharking. This made his parents very proud.
After receiving his Ph.D in Grifting, Philip set out to make something of his life. The first job he had was as a grizzled 1840s Prospector. After he failed miserably at finding any gold in the Mid-Atlantic Rift Philip left for the old country. While in the old country Philip picked up work as a Bootblack. He worked for change and picked up a part time job as a Square Dance instructor.
Some of his most notable students include:
[edit] Internet Fame
In 1973 Philip came up with the slogan "Al Gore created my interweb" it was a instant success. Because of the success Philip ordered 52,360 t-shirts with that slogan on them. But because of the lack of support for BBS systems in 1973 and pretty much no existence of the internet at a home consumer level, Philip only sold 4 t-shirts.
[edit] Post Fandom and Depression
After the flop of his internet empire Philip went into seclusion. Tuck away from the fame that plagued him Philip was finally able to do the things he loved in life. Philip continued to revolutionize the fine at of square dancing as well as discovering the meaning of life, a secret he took to his grave. [citation needed] Though he did not really die Philip felt very depressed for many years, but his life turned around in 1989 when The Simpsons started their own TV series.
[edit] Cats R Us and Cartoons a Plenty
Phil, as he was known in the late 1990's, spent many a year herding cats on a large ranch just outside Camelot, Rhode Island. It was during these years that Phil wrote every country and western song ever. He also used the time to author the popular "Chicken Soup for the...." series, mostly to make more money to support his beloved cats. Phil would later renounce this lifestyle as "unfashionable"[citation needed] and would spend the next few years in a series of unsigned Rap/Rock Fusion Bands.
Philip would also turn his creative talents to creating an animated series, he chose a quaint little metropolis outside of Camelot known as South Park. Upset that his animation style was to lifelike[citation needed] to be taken seriously, he traded the series to his correspondence school roommate, Trey Parker, for a Tissue Massage and some spare change, which totaled about $0.14 (Canadian)
[edit] Death and Current Life
Philip had many fights with Death most notably would be the 1996 Steel Cage fight in Midison Square Garden. The match was ended in a draw but it did set the record for PPV with over 98 billion dollars in revenue. Philip, having forgot to sign a contract was only able to get his parking validated.[citation needed]
Philip is well known for his charity work, First Action Coalition for Immediate Erosion Stoppage. Philip mainly works in the ice erosion department. Philip has been on the front lines of the fight against glaciers since 1998.
If these glaciers think they can come into our towns and shape our landscapes without getting a permit they have another thing coming. FACIES is here to stop them before they start to commit more crimes. Do you want your child abducted by a glacier or an ice berg when you are at the beach!? I didn't think so. And remember an ice berg only shows 10% of its body above water, you don't want to know whats going on below the water line.
– Philip
Philip has met criticism because of his charity, mostly from the Penguins for a Cold Earth Society. Some of the tactics used by Philip's Coalition have been questioned; namely the use of hair dryers to melt glaciers. Thanks to the efforts of Philip it is predicted that the the world's glaciers will retreat by 50% in 15 years.
Currently Philip lives on Europa with his lovely girlfriend Marie Antoinette. Philip is back to the normal habits of a bootblack. Everyday he polishes his shoes and buys internet stock on margin. He drinks 8 glasses of gravy a day just as his doctor prescribed, and dances with wolves 2-4 times a week.
