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[edit] Stripianity

Stripianity is a belief that St. Bernards are avatars of the Lord and son of God, Barry. Who gave his life to save skiiers from their sins. St. Bernards are treated with reverance fit for the avatars of gods, given their own houses and fed choice meats from gourmet restaurants.

[edit] A brief summary of the life of Barry.

Barry was born by a virgin St. Bernard named Cherry. An angel came down to Cherry and said, "Cherry you will bear the son of God." Cherry said, "Woof!" After that Cherry had to calm her husband and convince him that she wasn't cheating on him. Which wasn't very hard as he was a dog and didn't much care. Baby Barry was born to Cherry without any mess or blood and was the only one in the litter. Which, under normal circumstances, would be unbelievable, but hey, this is God we're talking about. When Barry was born a mountain appeared in the sky. It was spotted by a group of Swiss yodelers who decided that they needed to get to a hospital because they were hallucinating until an angel appeared and told them that a new king had been born. The yodelers immediately set off to find the new king and, after getting lost because they didn't know where the new king was, they appeared to find an empty manger. As this was a year later they realized that the king must have left and set to work inventing a watch that would take them back in time. They eventually succeeded and went back in time to find 3 stupid guys in lederhosen giving the new king sticks to play with. Upon hearing of the birth of a new king, the current king, King Horrid, decided to kill all the male babies in the area. As the new king was a dog he was unhurt. When Barry was older his father, Dullsmith, took Barry to the Alps where they lost him because they were bad parents and went to take food from the meat vendor. They searched for Barry for three days until they looked in the monastery and found him discussing the best way to rescue skiiers with the rescue dogs. Everyone was amazed that he could talk. His parents asked, "Why have you worried us so, we have looked everywhere." Barry replied, "Surely you knew I was here, the Monks know the best places to scratch." When Barry became an adult he was half drowned by George the Watpus. Then he went into the mountains to freeze for fourty days. After that Barry did lots of miracles and everyone decided he was really great for a while before they turned on him and had him stuffed. Then Barry rose from the dead and went into heaven. The Stripians believe that Barry will come back and they will be welcomed into heaven before the apocalypse happens, when all non-believers will die and suffer eternal damnation. This time is called the, "End of Idiocy" or "the Capture."

All of this is true because my faith says so.

Many would say that this is a spoof of the Jesus tale. It is. But, hey, its more realistic, at least we can prove that Barry existed.