User:Donbert

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Donbert Knottsfried
Exploiting userspace like it's nobody's business. Donbert in a recent MI6 photograph
Birthdate:	June 9, 2008
Birth location:	Chicago, Illinois, United States of America [suspected]
Birth name:	Lance Vance
Date of death:	Ask Ryuk
Height:	More than an Arminhammer
Weight:	Less than an Arminhammer
Eye color:	Golden
Hair color:	Indiscriminate
Orientation:	Discriminate
Ethnicity:	North American River Otter
No. of films:	Countless

Enter Donbert. Donbert is a unique individual infused with an interesting mix of cultures, retro console gaming, and first class comedic styling. At the risk of using weasel words, many users have compared his stylish expertise to that of Carson Kressley. Born to a downtrodden family, Donbert quickly began to create a massive impetus of change for his family. At age 15, Donbert found himself the son of intelligent and successful parents whom he could be proud of.

1 Early Influences
2 Current Occupation
3 Trivia
4 Friends
5 Pages I Like
6 TODO LIST

[edit] Early Influences

As a child, Donbert was known as Lance Vance, or simply Vance. As his knowledge acquisition powers increased, he learned of the concept of comedy and invariably came across two incredible actors, Don Knotts and Gilbert Gottfried. He became infatuated with the essence of these two individuals and, with the help of his natural abilities, came to adopt their principals and actions, later changing his persona and name. As Donbert matured, he became bored with the complex logarithms he normally solved for amusement. His next big influenced came from an unlikely source, GoldenEye. The movie, and subsequent game, GoldenEye opened Donbert into the technological aspect of life. He began to dabble in the electronic arts. Along with electronics, GoldenEye also opened Donbert to James Bond and gaming.

[edit] Current Occupation

As Donbert expanded his horizons, he began to see the internet as a powerful tool. As such, it was only a matter of time before he stumbled across wikipedia. It was then that he knew his life's goal. From that point on, Donbert took his role as a guardian of wiki-integrety and a soldier in the fight against vandalism. An avid rocker and philosopher, Donbert has adopted Penguinism as his religion. To this day, he is a devout practitioner of the ways of the penguin. Donbert has also sworn allegiance to Harpo and will remain so for the rest of his life. Mimicking his childhood hero James Bond, he is also a part-time MI6 agent and has attained a very high stature amongst his peers.

[edit] Trivia

Donbert describes the perfect pizza as being topped with "mushroom, tomato, corn, banana pepper, beer, salsa, tomato, cigarettes, and Pepperoni 2."
In everyday speech, Donbert pronounces the English word "sandwich" as IPA: [ˈsæ̃wɪʧ], and corrects those who pronounce it otherwise.