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Assessment comments
This article has been rated for quality and/or importance but has no comments yet. If appropriate, please review the article and then leave comments here to identify the strengths and weaknesses of the article and what work it will need.
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An individual covered by or significantly related to this article, Charles J. O'Byrne, has edited Wikipedia as
Obyrne1 (talk · contribs) |
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Charles J. O'Byrne was a good article nominee, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There are suggestions below for improving the article. Once these are addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
Reviewed version: April 27, 2008
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[edit] Second in command?
Surely in the official sense the Lt. Gov is second in command - in fact, what does "second in command" mean in this context? – ukexpat (talk) 19:38, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
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- In the sense that the White House Chief of Staff is the "second in command" to the President in terms of Advisors, etc. Historically, the Secretary to the Governor is the most powerful position in Albany, wielding much more actual authority then the Lieutenant Governor. I will be expanding on that, I'm still getting most of the bio typed off offline. Check back in a few hours and let me know what you think and how it should be edited. MrPrada (talk) 19:42, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Copyedit
- Copyedited by ukexpat (talk) – 19:06, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
[edit] GA review
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
This article is in decent shape, but it needs more work before it becomes a Good Article.
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- Well, I've done some research and I couldn't find a source for his B-Day and stuff, so I'm not going to make that a major issue to the review. But, if a source can be found, please add it. In the lead, Ref. 1 needs to be added after David Paterson, as its describing what he does or did. Same section, "He is openly gay", can that be re-worded, as it sorta sounds strange. Same section, please add a link to "Colombia Spectator". Same part, "During college, he took a summer job in the New Jersey Attorney General's office, and at 22, became acting superintendent of elections and acting commissioner of registration in Monmouth County", this sentence should be split and 22 should be written as twenty-two. Again, "and officiated at the marriage of John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette in 1996", shouldn't "the" be removed? New section - Priesthood, "During his studies in Cambridge, he acted as Harvard Law School's chaplain, and worked as a teaching fellow at Harvard University with Robert Coles, a Pulitzer-prize winning author", it would be best to re-word the sentence to ---> "During his studies in Cambridge, he acted as Harvard Law School's chaplain, and worked as a teaching fellow at Harvard University with Pulitzer-prize winning author, Robert Coles". Article in Playboy magazine, is "boyologist" the meaning to "priests who held an unnatural interest in young male parishioners", if so, then please add a comma before the reference. Throughout the article, there tends to be a lot of "he", try to even out he and O'Byrne. In the Political career, there are two "In", can one be removed?
- B. MoS compliance:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- "Considered a confidant to the Kennedy family", needs to be re-written as it sounds like POV.
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- If the statements above can be answered, I will pass the article. Good luck with improving this article! Also, contact me if the above statements are answered.
-- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 01:26, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
- I've decided to fail the article, since its a week since the GA review. If the statements above can be addressed, then the article may be renominated for GA. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 21:05, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Survey
WP:Good article usage is a survey of the language and style of Wikipedia editors in articles being reviewed for Good article nomination. It will help make the experience of writing Good Articles as non-threatening and satisfying as possible if all the participating editors would take a moment to answer a few questions for us, in this section please. The survey will end on April 30.
- Would you like any additional feedback on the writing style in this article?
- If you write a lot outside of Wikipedia, what kind of writing do you do?
- Is your writing style influenced by any particular WikiProject or other group on Wikipedia?
At any point during this review, let us know if we recommend any edits, including markup, punctuation and language, that you feel don't fit with your writing style. Thanks for your time. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 03:31, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
