User:Bigdumbdinosaur
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I'm big, I look like a dumbass, and relative to the world of computers, I truly am a dinosaur. Hence the name. Why, you ask? Because when I started beating on those things, Teletype machines were state of the art and vacuum tubes ruled. For a while, I actually preferred TTYs to a video terminal, mainly because the print wasn't as fuzzy. I still remember Ferrocube core memory, removable disk packs, band printers and those g**damn f**king card readers.
Aside from my computer "talents" (whatever those may be), I am a classically trained double bassist, skilled metal fabricator and welder (certified at one time), hold several U.S. patents on electrical control circuits, know which end of a hot soldering iron has the handle, and, for some truly unfathomable reason, am perceived by friends as a master grill chef (which means I usually don't burn the food, although there are always questions as to just how edible it is after I'm done with it).
My friends also think of my mind as a tomb of useless knowledge, a treasure trove of tedious minutia, a place where a large propeller should be permanently mounted. I don't know why anyone would think that what I know is useless, as at one time that knowledge must have been useful to me, otherwise why would I have acquired it.
I am a U.S. Navy veteran, and due to a lot of training and practice, am a dead shot with a Smith & Wesson .38 caliber revolver. When I was young, dumb and full of...er...fun, I could put a round through an ace of spades from 100 feet. My health and vision aren't what they used to be, so these days, all those playing cards that are hiding behind the bushes can breath a lot easier. However, please don't break into my home, attempt to cause me harm or try to steal my property, as I probably won't miss you.
For many years (31 to be exact), I was an avid drag racer and gradually went from 12 second, 110 MPH quarter miles to low 8 second, 160+ MPH runs. It was around the time I was at that low 8 second level when I discovered I was racing against guys who were less than half my age and had reflexes that were more than twice as fast as mine (aging can be a real bitch, eh?). I finally came to my senses when I couldn't cut any good lights anymore, mothballed the race car (anyone want a 2100 pound car with an injected rat motor and a very good set of wheelie bars?) and took up large scale model railroading.
Speaking of going fast, I spent close to 20 years in railroading and actually know a thing or two about how locomotives work, what "jerk a lung" means and why the block signal goes red when you pass it (well, you sure hope it does if you don't want the next train up your...er...caboose). My early days in railroading were as a signal maintainer, which I did until I decided working outside in the dead of winter with the wind blowing hard wasn't much fun.
I might think of more to write about myself some day. However, I'm sure most readers aren't all that enthralled with my prose or my strangely convoluted life (most of my childhood was spent in a Roman Catholic "jail"—however, I don't accuse any priests of pedophilia). A side-effect of my childhood was the development of an innate dislike of authority figures, which might explain why I barely made it out of high school. Due to my apparent inability to learn in a classroom setting, most would label me an autodidact.
Lastly, any relationship to that BigDumbDinosaur guy over at Tony Lawrence's huge UNIX/Linux site (http://pcunix.com) is not coincidental.
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